Plus, by centering battles more around intelligence and strategy and less planet-destroying punches, every clash is fun to watch. So, today we’re going to take a look at the entire roaster and determine which characters are the smartest!
15. J. Geil – Stardust Crusaders
He might not be the prettiest dude around, but Geil does have a good head on his shoulders. If nothing else, just by virtue of being an assassin and going undetected for so long, he has to have figured something out. But more importantly, it never seemed like he was struggling with his Stand. Being that it travels from one reflective surface to another in rapid succession when chasing someone – you have to be quick on your feet. And having a constant list of surfaces through which Hanged Man can get to a certain point is no simple task. Especially since he managed to surprise the entire Crusader crew quite a few times. Overall, he might not be a super genius (which is why he’s in last place) but he’s far from dumb.
14. Mariah – Stardust Crusaders
Mariah’s Stand, Bastet, is one of those powers that’s only as good as the user. After all, you first have to trick someone into touching a power socket (which admittedly isn’t too hard), but you then have to stay a short distance away from them for hours without getting caught. Now that latter part is quite impressive. You have to be extremely good at tailing people and have at least four backup plans in case they enter private property. Not to mention that even when she was found out, Mariah had quite a few tricks up her sleeve on how to slow down her pursuers without getting out of range. She’s the kiting queen and that takes some serious skill and forethought.
13. Guido Mista – Golden Wind
In a world where 99% of characters can catch bullets, you have to get creative in order to make a gun a viable option.
And I think Mista does an excellent job at exactly that.
Since his Stand is comprised of six smaller entities, he has to put in a lot more thought than someone who just punches you to death.
This is why he usually goes for very clever surprise attacks. He redirects his bullets multiple times or even shoots his own bullets out of the air – all in order to catch the enemy off guard.
And let’s be real, his Stand is basically worthless unless you’re consistently able to outsmart your enemy to a certain degree.
Sure, it’s not rocket science – but you still have to have a few Rick and Morty episodes under your belt.
12. Weather Report – Stone Ocean
Although this character hasn’t had a lot of time to shine (at least not yet) I’m already quite impressed. This is mostly due to him being incredible at thinking on his feet. For example, when he created the cloud suits in order to combat being in a vacuum. I doubt he’s ever been in a similar situation before and yet he instantly knew how to counteract it. And when Jolyne needed help, he immediately thought of creating a frog storm. Not only that but he had the brains to drain a lake with poisonous frogs as well. It might not sound that impressive, but both of these situations were extremely niche – and yet he figured it out extremely quickly. Not to mention that he also doesn’t have his memories at this point. So, who knows what kind of schemes he can come up with once he has his mind at full capacity?
11. Sale – Golden Wind
Sale is a prime example of a dude whose Stand isn’t all that powerful but makes up for it with his intelligence. He uses his power in very unpredictable ways – like creating a bridge out of pebbles and using Mista’s own bullets against him. A lesser Stand user might’ve just used Kraft Work in order to render an enemy immobile, but Sale uses kinetic energy in order to blast your head off. And even beyond just fighting, he’s a clever cookie. He deduced where Polpo’s money was and had the foresight not to reveal his identity once the gang rolled up to Capri. This is why even though he lost to Mista, I’m ranking him a bit higher. I think Sale’s Stand was just inherently weaker but that his fivehead was definitely stronger.
10. Daniel J. D’Arby – Stardust Crusaders
Regardless of what your stance on gambling might be, you have to admit that it takes more than just luck. If you want a good record (in the case of D’Arby it was flawless for quite some time) you have to be able to read any person like a book. Picking up every micro-expression, knowing the odds of any given hand, and utilizing tactics of mental warfare even Sun Tzu would approve. Sure, you can also just call it luck – but I think that’s a bit unrealistic.
9. Bruno Bucciarati – Golden Wind
Bucciarati is by far my favorite non-JoJo character. Aside from his impeccable fashion sense and buttery VO, I just love how creative he gets with his Stand. After all, his power is literally to just create zippers on anything he touches. And yet he manages to outsmart quite a few people. From dismembering himself in order to dodge attacks to escape route Davin Blaine would be envious of – the dude is hard to predict. Plus, his social intelligence is extremely high. He knows how to motivate his crew, how to gain their trust, and how to climb the corporate ladder. The dude is just extremely smart in almost every field of life.
8. Ghiaccio – Golden Wind
This dude literally felt like a raid boss. And sure, part of it was due to his Stand being immensely powerful. However, you also have to be quite the genius to fight multiple strong opponents at the same time. Even though the Stand just boils down to “freeze stuff”, Ghiaccio found so many ways in order to make it seem more powerful. Be it freezing the literal air in order to slow down bullets or creating an intricate suit that can block any damage – he felt invincible. And if we’re being honest, he would’ve bodied 90% of the other characters in the show.
7. Jolyne Cujoh – Stone Ocean
Realistically, you all knew that a few JoJo characters were going to show up on this list. And while I don’t think Jolyne is the top dog in her family, she’s definitely very intelligent. Just like with a few other characters on this list, her Stand isn’t all that special. Yes, it’s a really good close-range fighter but outside of that it just gives you a bunch of string to work with. And yet Jolyne manages to make it feel like this omnipotent Stand that can do it all! In almost every fight she takes part in, it looks like she’s losing. But then she’d always come up with some 300 IQ tactic on how to use a single unnoticed string in order to turn the tides of battle. But since Stone Ocean hasn’t concluded at the time of writing this (I hate you Netflix), we haven’t seen her full potential just yet.
6. Enrico Pucci – Stone Ocean
Not everyone can be a puppet master. But man, Pucci has the entire prison dancing at his fingertips. With the power to take away and redistribute Stands as he sees fit, Pucci is the main driving force of every single thing that happens in Stone Ocean. And I really do mean every single thing. Just reaching that level is one thing – but for no one to know your identity as well is just on a whole different level. Even the way he fights is rather clever – never even leaving himself open to take any damage. He just swoops in to seal the deal and then disappears back into the night. But just like with Jolyne, we haven’t seen the full extent of his capabilities just yet.
5. Rohan Kishibe – Heaven’s Door
This guy was always such a treat to watch. Every time he showed up on the screen, you knew something good was going down. And I don’t know whether this was because his Stand was so unique (literally writing someone’s story) or because Rohan himself was so interesting. But what I do know is that he was one smart cookie. Besides the obvious fact that he managed to become a successful author, there were many instances where Rohan flexed his brain muscle. He always took precautions that insured no Ls were sent his way (from friend or foe). This is why he also never seemed too bothered or surprised regardless of what happens in the story. And probably why he got his own spin-off show.
4. Giorno Giovanna – Golden Wind
I feel like the writers just went wild with Giorno. Given how his Stand allows for infinite possibilities and how Giorno was established as incredibly clever – no scheme was ever too farfetched. This is how a plotline like “Giorno assassinates a mafia boss with a disguised banana” makes complete sense in the show. And this is far from an isolated incident. The dude’s strategies are so out of left field, 99% of them make me do a double take and rewind the explanation. Sure, his Stand is also just incredibly powerful on its own, but I think it’d be mid-tier without Giorno’s giga-brain powering it up.
3. Yoshikage Kira – Diamond is Unbreakable
You’ll notice that every other villain in JoJo’s always has an entire system under them. Be it the mafia, religious followers, or prisoners. But Kira took on the JoJo’s crew all by himself. Not only that but he also managed to be a serial killer without a single finger pointed in his direction. And considering that he literally carried severed hands around – he had to have been thinking 100 steps ahead of everyone else for that to work. But even when the gang does get on his tail, it’s anything but simple. The dude just has backup plan after backup plan. Like if I didn’t know that this was an anime, I would’ve sworn that Kira would immerge victorious in the end! He was literally playing them all like fools!
2. Dio Brando – Reoccurring
Although Dio is a meme more than anything else these days, we also have to acknowledge that the dude was a genius. After all, it wasn’t just power that made hundreds (if not thousands) of people flock to him like he was a literal god. It was also his superhuman charisma and his ability to read most humans like an open book. And I know I just praised Kira for having so many backup plans – but Dio is on a whole different level. The dude has more than one backup plan for literal death! If we take a look at part one of JoJo’s, we also see that he’s a master manipulator – soaring through the ranks like it’s nothing. In part three we see him expertly hide both his location and his Stand for quite some time (which is also harder than it looks). And in part six, we’ll just have to wait and see what kind of insanity he unleashes onto the world.
1. Jotaro Kujo – Reoccuring
Aside from just having a superior Dio Stand, Jotaro also just has a superior Dio intellect. After all, the dude became a legitimate world-renowned scientist! And the best part is that his greatest intellectual feats were prior to that! As just an incredibly tall and angsty teen, Jotaro was pulling more 300 IQ plays than one can count. It got to the point where he made Star Platinum (which just has ooga booga strength) feel like the most versatile Stand in the entire series. Be it by punching water projectiles or literally squeezing his own heart for reanimation, Jotaro managed to find the answer to every single question life threw his way. This is why I honestly don’t think any other character can compare in terms of intellect.
